a_mused | no (wo)man is an island - for bitcheslovehypos

“I really hope you don’t, Jane. I’d hate to disobey a direct order.” Len retorted, once she recovered from the surprise, scrubbing a hand through her hair. She knew Jane was well within her right to do so; but she wouldn’t be able to obey it. Not in good conscience. Not in keeping with her oath.

The planet was in a state of upheaval, and there was no shortage of patients, but there was finally a break in the chaos. Her patients were all right, for the time being, and no one had been brought in for a moment or two. It was a reprieve that was sorely needed. So she’d taken advantage of it to check in with the ship. With Jane. She sighed tiredly. “I know. I know. But I can’t. Not yet. I’m not leaving my patients.”

No matter how much of a pain in the ass the situation on the planet was. She would fight Jane on this one. Disobey orders if she had to. But she really hoped she didn’t.

Jane groaned and slumped, exhausted. They had her. They had her frequency and body heat signature and fuck they could probably find her within a millimeter of her precise location but that wasn't good enough.

It wasn't good enough for her.

Not often she could admit to herself the lengths she'd go to keep Bones alive and on this ship, but this situation was seriously testing her endurance. She did not do well being the one left behind waiting. Especially not when Bones life was in direct danger.

"You seriously suck, you know that?"

Jane was experiencing firsthand what it was like for Len, being on the ship more often than not. Not that she LIKED doing this to her captain, but it was her job. And Jane could worry, and yell, and argue with her, but she wasn’t leaving her patients before she had to. That was one thing she refused to compromise on. Jane didn’t corner the market on being impossibly reckless. Len just did it less often.

“Yeah yeah yeah, and you love me anyway,” she grumbled. “I’ll be back on the ship in no time.”

Jane did. Shuddup. She did. That's why this sucked so damn much because she couldn't be down there if something DID go wrong. And it was why she couldn't force herself to make it an order for Bones to return to the ship immediately.

"Just don't go and stick your arm into any torpedoes while you're down there. I can't afford to send our specialist in after you."

Please don't do anything to get yourself killed. Bones didn't own all the market shares on irrational wishes and promises she wanted made.

“You stick your arm into a torpedo ONE TIME and suddenly it’s all you’re known for,” she retorted. “I wouldn’t let you send them down here, anyway.” She needed to be here. Anyone else... didn’t. It was better for them to stay on the ship. The place wasn’t stable, politically speaking. She would finish up her work and get the hell off the planet as soon as she could. There was no need to put anyone else in harm’s way.

She wasn’t planning on it. Of course, plans had a way of going down the crapper on the Enterprise. But she had every intention of doing her best to transport off the planet in one piece.

"Could be worse." Jane has stories. Not all of them fit for Bridge crew consumption. She rests her head on her hand and sighs.

It's been maybe four days since they'd sent down a landing party. But four days was a long damn time to go without being grumped at in person.

"Just...don't be me down there. All right?"

“I’m sure it could be.” And it probably would be. Len wasn’t telling Jane everything. ‘Unstable’... was pretty much putting it mildly. But she wouldn’t worry her unnecessarily. The situation wasn’t changing for the time being, and she wasn’t leaving until she was finished. So there was no damn point to it.

It felt like a whole hell of a lot longer than four days. Then again, she hadn’t gotten much sleep since beaming down. Something else she was leaving out of her reports. Jane didn’t need to know her sleeping habits while on the planet’s surface.

“No one can possibly be you but you, Jane.” She didn’t plan on being reckless, impossibly or otherwise, but they both knew that she didn’t shy away from it when necessary. “I’m just a doctor.”

"Sure you are, Bones." But she's also Jane's. Jane shakes her head. There are too many variables, too many unknowns for Jane to ever be ok about this. Bones is...Bones is Jane's everything and losing her would be like losing the better part of her.

"Keep me updated."

Jane couldn’t see it, but Len still gave the comm. a look. It was a grumpy sort of glare that was only a little amused; the one that was particular to Jane T. Kirk, but it didn’t have any heat behind it. She was tired and more irritated than usual, but most of it wasn’t Jane’s fault. Not this time.

“You know I will,” she told her, slumping down in her chair and rubbing a hand over her face. “Got nothing better to do. It’ll be a nice break from dealing with the idiots down here.” She was tired, and hated losing patients. And she had. So she wasn’t mincing words. Not with Jane. Not right now. Besides, there wasn’t anyone around anyway. She didn’t have to.

Jane winced. Why was it she couldn't recall Bones right this second again? Oh. Right. She sighed softly.

"I'm holding you to that."

Its not your fault. You can't save everyone.

“If I don’t you can chastise me all you want when I beam back up to the ship.” She had every intention of trying to keep her updated, but with the state of things where she was there was no guarantee it was going to be regular or timely at all. Rebellions didn’t tend to stick to schedules.

Nothing ever stuck to schedules. Jane would have stayed on duty until all her crew was back safe if Spock hadn't developed a strange tick in her eye that spoke of dire consequences if she didn't allow for normal rotations to occur.

Which was why she was now three hours off duty, lying on her bed, chewing her lower lip and wondering if Bones was doing okay. It was stupid. She would know if something had gone wrong. They were monitoring her frequencies like she was a queen but that didn't mean she was doing all right.

Jane rolled onto her stomach and reached for her comm.

"Hey, Bones. You busy?"

It'd been five hours. Five hours was a long damn time all right?

Len groaned, fumbling for her comm. There had been an influx of patients about ten minutes after talking with Jane last, and it had taken her until maybe fifteen minutes ago to get them all stabilised and tended to. She’d been sleeping. It hadn’t been peaceful, but it had been sleep. A catnap, really, something just long enough for her to keep functioning for another day or two.

Damn it, Jane.

“Not anymore, no,” she grumbled, sounding groggy and still half-asleep. Her head was propped up on her arms and she was half slumped over the comm.. “Please tell me you haven’t been awake this whole time.” She left the ship for five minutes and Jane was probably running herself ragged. They were going to have to have a talk about setting a good example for her crew when she beamed back aboard. It wouldn’t work. But she could sure as hell try. Again.

"I have not been awake this whole time," Jane promptly responds. She frowns. "Did I wake you?"

Bones voice is gravely and aching and not nearly as snippy as it should be for the question she asked. "Shit. Sorry. Sorry. Go back to sleep."

Len groaned, scrubbing the sleep from her eyes with her free hand. She was going to sleep for a damn week when she got back to the Enterprise. Wishful thinking on her part... but it sounded like the best friggin’ plan at the moment. “That’s not going to happen, Jane. We might as well chat.” She was up, now. There was no sense in wasting it.

“So you haven’t been awake this whole time? I can check, you know.” And she would, too. “Don’t lie to your doctor.” She managed a bit of humour, but it was still lost in the lingering sleepiness.

If Bones ever comes after her for not getting enough sleep and threatens her with a sedative, she is absolutely bringing this moment up. Jane chuckles and presses her face in her pillow. If she tries hard enough, she can pretend Bones is safe and where she belongs. She can pretend Bones is sitting on a chair in Jane's quarters and isn't an entire planet away.

"I can sleep when you're home."

Len has extenuating circumstances. Rebellion, and more patients than she can count and no one who can do the job that needs to be done. Jane is the captain. She needs to be well rested to do her job. And Len will argue that until she turns blue. Which, she might have to, after this.

“It might be a while, Jane.” She’s tired, and honest, and frustrated with the sheer level of stupidity of the people she was dealing with on this damn planet. “But I can’t friggin’ wait.”

"That bad, huh?"

Jane swallows thickly. She's been through shit like this before. Its harsh and cruel and never easy. Fucking terrifying is a better way of putting it. That she's all but abandoned Bones and Hendroff down there doesn't sit so great on her conscience.

There's a reason she won't sleep until Bones does. And it's not the inevitable nightmares.

"You sure you're safe down there?"

“Well, it’s not a damn picnic.”

Jane didn’t ‘all but abandon’ them. This is their job. And they’re doing it. As well as they can possibly manage, given the circumstances. Sure, Len wants to punch someone half the time, and Hendroff has taken to hovering like a surly, anxious moth. But this assignment is theirs.

“As safe possible.” She sighs, scrubbing her hand through her hair. “We wouldn’t be any safer with you down here, Jane.” It would be worse, she thinks, if Jane was on the planet. She wouldn’t just have to take care of the matters at hand, she’d have to keep an eye on the captain and keep her out of trouble and in something like one piece. With Jane on the ship... well, that’s one worry off her mind. And they can’t just... abandon this assignment. She can, possibly, send Hendroff back to the ship. And might, if the situation grows any more precarious.

The only person to HAS to stay on the planet... is Len.

"But you would be safer back up here."

Jane pressed her lips together. This sucked. So much. She didn't know what was going on down there beyond her crew's watch and that unknown set her teeth on edge.

"It's boring without you."

“But I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.” Len frowned and pinched the bridge of her nose. She hadn’t meant to be quite THAT honest. “Even if I wanted to beam back up right this instant.” And she did. She really did. She hated this planet. “I couldn’t.”

Jane’s words made her laugh, a genuine one the sorts of which hadn’t happened since before she’d beamed down to this damn planet. “I’ll be beaming back up before you know it.” Groaning, she rested her head on her arms. “And it’s not going to be a moment too soon. I hate this damn planet.”

"I know."

Which sucked, because she did, probably better than anyone else on this ship. You do not live in someone's back pocket, get up in their space, and invade every inch of their life without learning some deep truths along the way. About both of them.

But she'd earned a laugh and that, more than words, let Jane know Bones was doing all right, exhausted or not. She was actually fine.

"Let's hope they stay grateful for our 'timely assistance in this most pressing of matters'."

“They’d better.” They had damn well better. She wasn’t spending all her waking hours (and there were a lot of them, what with the whole not sleeping thing) working her damn ass off for them to be ungrateful bastards. “Do we get shore leave after this? Please tell me we get shore leave.”

Sitting on a beach somewhere drinking fruity drinks with umbrellas sounded fantastic. Even if she wasn’t a fruity drink with umbrella kind of woman... they were required for relaxing on the beach.

"We get shore leave." Try and stop them. The entire crew was feeling what Jane was and it wasn't fair on any of them. "Remember that planet where all the beaches had pink sand? We'll go there."

“Good.” She stifled a yawn. “Mmm. I liked that planet.” The best part was it was nothing like THIS planet.

no (wo)man is an island - for bitcheslovehypos

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